Aye yo, 2011,
Wussup playa? You be ready for 2012? You be miss, dawg. You and I, thug for life. Fo’ real, son… um, baby girl, who you be. You and I, we like bling and bling’ing, er, washer and dryer, uh, Bieber and fever. Shhyyeeahhh. word.
Okay.
Listen, 2011, I must confess. You’re too cool. I can’t keep up with your killer swag and strut like you. So Imma be straight, and write to you the only way I know how: with my horrible grammar and spelling errors. I hope you can forgive me.
I want to thank you for an amazing year:
* For my first cruise. I thought I was drunk sleeping in bed, but it was Hurricane Irene. Silly winds, ha, rocking us to sleep. Tell that girl, Irene, she needs to work on her lullabies.
* Making me work up in Norwalk, CT. I’m going to miss living in 3 hotels. I love those magic cleaning fairies. Thanks for the free lotions and shampoos to make me smell like a baby eating cucumbers, drinking green tea, on a bed of lemons.
* Introducing me to The Dressing Room (Paul Newman, you’re a sexy man with erotic foods). Mini meat loafs FTW.
* Learning to man up and allowing me to watch American Horror Stories. Me still scared though.
* I don’t know how to express the magnitude on this one, but simply put, for an incredible journey with work and the people in my life (I suppose facebook friends count too).
I hope you and 2012 are tight bros. I’m a bit scared, but I’ll try to be on my best behavior for 2012. Could you tell him/her to look out for me? Tell 2012, I’m a really cool girl and deserve an obese, juicy, mammoth size bank account…. or enough to save up for a handsome, quiet Brooklyn apartment and to pig out on fresh ramen. If it’s not too much, a pretty wardrobe too. I haven’t been shopping since…. um, well, lets just say, my boyfriend is beginning to have more shoes than me.
Oh! and please make my 11.11.11 wish come true… even though I was 1 minuet late, I hope you can sweep that under a rug, keep it unvacuum, and pretend you didn’t see anything. *Mysteriously fade out into black*
xoxo,
Diem
